Without You
by AshleeSaurus
Summary: When something happens to Cass, Dean realizes how much he took him for granted. One-Shot. xDestiel


Dedicated to my favorite friend on tumblr: Jenna

Takes place after: My heart will go on

R&R 3

Xx

The weather was just turning warm outside. Dean was up alone in the dingy motel room that he shared with his brother Sam. It was late, but he couldn't fall asleep. Something was not right.

He couldn't tell you what was wrong. No, he didn't even know that for himself. It was just an ache in his chest. A feeling he couldn't shake.

Walking to the bathroom he flicked on the light. It buzzed overhead. His reflection was flickering in the mirror with the cheap motel light.

"Dean!" He turned. He knew that voice. He would know it anywhere.

"Cass!" He called out. Nothing. Was he imagining things? He had to be. There was no one around.

"Dean, what are you doing? It's 4 am." He turned and starred at the doorway, seeing Sam hovering above the tiny opening. He must of heard Sam's voice, not Castiel's.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked, wiping his tired eyes.

Yes. He just didn't know what.

"No, sorry." Sam shrugged and walked back to his bed. Dean listened for the creak of the bed before turning back to his worried reflection. Why did he have such a throbbing pain in his chest? Why did he hear Cass's voice?

It was all in his mind. It had to be. He flicked the bathroom light off, walking with haste out of the bathroom.

"I'll be right back." He called to Sam as he grabbed his leather coat and walked out the motel door.

Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong.

But no matter how many times he repeated that phrase, he couldn't shake the feeling.

Xx

The air outside was just above bitter. Warm enough to drive with the windows down, but not enough to ignore the warmth of a coat.

Dean looked up to the night sky, the piercing stars shining down at him.

"_Stars are just angels sleeping, Dean." _

Cass's voice echoed in his head. He remembered that night. It was right after Sam jumped into Lucifer's cage. Dean had barely been able to move. He was so engulfed with sorrow that nothing seemed to faze him. He lay there; in the same spot that Sam had jumped until stars hovered above him.

That's when Castiel showed up. He sat silently next to Dean, which was all Dean really needed. It was around this time of night when Castiel finally broke the silence.

"_You want to know a secret Dean? The stars you see in the sky are just angels sleeping." _

Dean didn't even know why that made him laugh. Maybe because science states otherwise? Or because it was Castiel saying it. The sound of his laugh was almost foreign to him as it escaped his lips. It didn't last though. The feelings of remorse flowed from him. Dean couldn't stop the streams of tears from falling down his face. He had just lost his brother.

Castiel didn't say anything after that. He just sat in the darkness, holding Dean as he cried into his trench coat.

He just needed to know that Cass was all right. He bent his head down, clasping his hands together, just like his mother had taught him when praying.

"Cass? Can you hear me? It's Dean. Just let me know you're all right. I have this bad feeling that something is wrong and just want to kno-"

"Dean Winchester." Dean's head shot up. He turned to see Balthazar standing behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked almost furious.

"There is no time for such petty questions. I came for Cass"

"Is he all right? Where is he?" Dean couldn't stop the questions from pouring out.

"Dean, He's missing." The sharp pain was back. Missing?

"What do you mean?" Dean barked out. This pissed him off. There was no way he was 'missing'. He's Castiel! He's a frickin' angel of the damn lord!

"We were fighting a group of Raphael's followers. We were outnumbered. He yelled to retreat. I turned for one second, ready to flee until everything was silent. I looked back. Everyone was gone. No followers, no Cass. Just darkness." Balthazar looked down. Even he couldn't stand to see the face of a man in pain.

"You're lying!" To say the least, Balthazar was shocked by this accusation. Yes, he had been known for twisting stories and you know, raising the Titanic, but he would never lie about this!

"Dean…" Balthazar was silenced by the pissed off look of Dean. There was nothing more he could do. Dean was in denial.

Dean looked back to Balthazar only to find that he had left. Well this was just great. Castiel was missing and Balthazar just frickin' leaves too.

_He's missing Dean. _The words kept echoing in his head. There is no way that he's missing. This is all a sick joke.

"_You need new friends Cass!"_

_ "I'm trying to save the one's I have." _

Why were these thoughts running through his head? Why was he remembering all the things Cass…did for him.

"_I'm the one that gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."_

Every single thing that Castiel has done to keep him and Sam safe, every little thing that he did.

"_I rebelled, for you!" _

How had he not realized this? Every time that Cass helped him, he dug a deeper grave for himself in heaven.

"_**And I never even said thank you" **_Dean fell onto the cement.

Sure he had said it half hearted, but not once had he ever truly thanked him. And now he may never get the chance. He gripped the sides of his head tears sliding from his eyes.

So many times, so many scenarios. Castiel has always been there. Never complaining, never faulting.

"_Hey assbutt…. There you have your five minutes."_

Cass even died, to give Dean five minutes with Lucifer. He died for him. And what had Dean done in return? Taken his help for granted. He wasn't even grateful for it anymore! He expected it.

What did he do? Why didn't he say thank you when he had the chance?

Why didn't he appreciate Castiel when he had the chance?

Dean's body was convulsing as he choked on tears. He curled into a tight ball on the cement, tears falling from his face.

"_The one that's in love with you."_

Balthazar's words covered him like a sheet. Of course, how could he not see it. No matter how obvious it was. Castiel put himself through such pain for him. He rebelled, he risked his life. Just so his selfish ass could do what he needed too. Castiel loved Dean.

It was like a warm light was shining down from heaven. He could feel the overwhelming emotions of love enveloping him. He loved Castiel.

"Dean…?" He lifted his body off the ground starring at the figure in the distance. Was this another trick? He could swear that it was Castiel standing a couple of feet from him…

He slapped himself, hoping the mirage would disappear. His mind just didn't want to give him peace…unless. It was Castiel!

Dean lifted himself from the ground and jogged over to Castiel. His mind was buzzing over with so many different thoughts.

"Why were you on the ground?" Castiel titled his head to the side. Dean had to reach out and gently touch the chest of this miracle, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

It was him! It was Castiel!

Happiness was not an emotion that Dean got to express often, but just this once, if even for a moment…he was filled with it.

Dean reached around and gripped onto Cass, afraid that if he let go, he would leave again.

Tears of joy fell from his eyes as Cass returned his hug, even if he was confused.

"Castiel, Balthazar said you were missing! I didn't know…I didn't know what to do." Dean pressed his head to Castiel's chest.

"I was, but only for a moment. Raphael's men thought they could keep me in holy fire. But ever since the last time I got stuck in holy fire, I carry water around." Dean laughed. He was so relived that Cass was safe.

"Cass, I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Every thing you have ever done for me, for my brother. Thank you so much." Dean looked up at the blue eyes of the angel in front of him. A small smile spread across Castiel's face.

"Anytime." Cass replied gripping Dean tighter.

"There is however, one thing I want to know…Why were you on the ground?" Castiel asked again. Dean pulled an arm away from Cass and rubbed the back of his head giving off a nervous laugh.

"I guess you could say, I had fallen for you." Dean looked up at the puzzled face of the man in front of him.

"I don't understand that reference." Dean smiled and leaned closer to his confused face.

"Then understand this…" And placed a long awaited kiss onto his lips.

Xx

**The End**


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